Science is serious business

Ladies and gentleman, I present you three evolutionary theories. One of these theories is proposed by a comic book writer. Another, by a scientist, with the remaining one created by yours truly off the top of my head.

1. Future evolutionary variants of humans will be stronger, smarter, more adaptable, and will be forced to deal with persecution and misunderstanding by differently evolved, or unevolved, members of humanity.

2. Future evolutionary variants of humans will be smarter, but in lesser numbers, and no longer the dominant species on the planet. They will have adapted into continentally-specific sub-races, and reverted from nations to smaller tribes.

3. Future evolutionary variants of humans will be of two variants. One will be smarter, taller, more physically attractive, with men having larger penises and women possessing more appealing breasts and hairless skin. The other class will be short, slow-witted, goblin-like race who will likely be subservient to the attractive and intelligent race.

If you can guess which is which, please do so. As far as I'm concerned, all three are science fiction. Evolution is nearly universally accepted in the scientific community, but science is based on empirical evidence. Speculation is merely that. Educated as it may be, it's just a guess. Fiction is great. I majored in it. I love it. But seriously, my BA in English doesn't make me a hell of a lot less qualified to predict the next evolutionary stages of humanity.

Since these things are more or less just spitballing ideas, why not let me get in on the action? If you can't guess which of the three theories is from an actual scientist, then clearly you have nothing to lose. Just send me a research grant, and I'll tell you what humans will be like 10,000 years from now with the exact same degree of certainty as the last theory you invested in. I'll even do it for less than your average scientist.